Joyous Elloscada!

To use Lady Maggie's words for 'Merry Christmas'…Joyous Elloscada!

A' me frigens e' Wy Nightwish, Joyous Elloscada!

Ellos es wy abernet mara wy ubernet. Lethdoloc na veberne!

—Gwingyth Thunderblade

Deja Vu...again...

AHHHHH! Where has it gone? Why does it keep disappearing? Is it because of the spammers? Ugh. Is this just me, or is it happening to someone else as well?

-A very very frustrated Esmerelda

Hey'a! Anyone remember my climatic first post?

Ryebrynn here! Posted about well... once on this blog, but, hey! I'm back again! :) Thinking about what to post, but I decided to post my introduction. :)

 I'm Lady Ryebrynn Lyla Shveer Crossblade also known as Brynna Sarayla Jakoso Crossblade,

Swordmaiden of God,
Hero of Jaydill,
High Queen of Graceland,
West African MK,
Expert BAMmer(Business As Missions),
Shadowed One,
Dog Lover,
Cat Maniac,
Nerdy and weird writer(And proud of it!),
Elf of Ellos,
Dragon Rider(Twice over),
Unicorn Friend,
Expert Grocery Bagger(Compliments of my grandparents),
The Cold One,
Defeater of Enemies,
Owl City Lover(Oh yeah!),
Reader of The Count of Monte Cristo(Awesome book!),
Number One fan of The Redwall Books and The Castaways of the Flying Dutchmen books,
Crocheter,
Knitter,
Ice-Cream consumer,
Scoffer(See Redwall books, especially ones with Hares),
Home-Schooler,
Faithful follower of Dramri(my name for God),
Blogger,
Keeper of the chicken,
Book-Eater,
Sister to a published author,
Fan of Tolkein,
Fan of Christopher Hopper,
Fan of Wayne Thomas Batson,
Multi-tasker,
The One Who Has  A Proplem With Correcting Her Mother's Grammar,
Thousand Foot Krutch Addict,
Relient K. fan,
The Exploding Author,
and Dekunte Buller of the Basa Tribe.

Yuppers, that's me! And here's a sample of my writing:


The old man shrugged again, grinned wider and laughed. The laugh, however, was quite unsavory, because it showed rows or rotting teeth, most missing. "If'n thee is prayin', then Dramri will act. Not sayin', young lad, that he wouldn't act anyways, but it's best thee is prayin'. That's the best. Prayer and patience." The old man laughed again and walked away.
Reani stood there, rooted in, well, unexplainable emotion. "That was wierd," he said and dashed off.



Thanks for reading!
-Ryebrynn Lyla Shveer Crossblade A.K.A Brynna Sarayla Jakoso Crossblade

Lego The Berinfell Prophecies

What do you think?

BTW, I will leave you to guess which of the Elven Lords this is.


—Gwingyth Thunderblade

The Underground has gone again!

I can't access the Underground from my computer. The website says 'Page not found'. Gulp. Does this mean it has been deleted? Destroyed?

What will we do?

Logical Step of Action 1. Freak out and scream.
Logical Step of Action 2. Calm yourself down.
Logical Step of Action 3. Contact the Sentinels, the Authors, or anyone else who may be able to help.

Does anyone get a sense of deja vee from this?

—Gwingyth Thunderblade

Esme Here!

This was posted on the "Riddles and Jokes Thread" by DrummerGuy. It was so funny that I had to post it! :)

*********

Why did the chicken cross the road? Answers from some of the world's thinkers...

Julius Caesar: To come, to see, to conquer.

John Calvin: It was predestined.

Charles Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Of course, you will have to purchase Microsoft Road.

Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping fifty tons of nerve gas on it.

Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road.'' And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Gandalf: O chicken, do not meddle in the affairs of roads, for you are tasty and good with barbecue sauce.

J.R.R. Tolkein: The chicken, sunlight coruscating off its radiant yellow- white coat of feathers, approached the dark, sullen asphalt road and scrutinized it intently with its obsidian-black eyes. Every detail of the thoroughfare leapt into blinding focus: the rough texture of the surface, over which countless tires had worked their relentless tread through the ages; the innumerable fragments of stone embedded within the lugubrious mass, perhaps quarried from the great pits where the Sons of Man labored not far from here; the dull black asphalt itself, exuding those waves of heat which distort the sight and bring weakness to the body; the other attributes of the great highway too numerous to give name. And then it crossed it.

Captain Kirk: To go boldly where no chicken has gone before.

Plato: For the greater good.

Jules Verne: Much knowledge of our world, and the worlds beyond, has been achieved through scientific curiosity. Under a 125 F.At 36 degree North and 115 degree East, and at 03:00 GMT, Professor Chicken entered history as his Cannon propelled him through the road.

William Shakespeare: I don't know why, but methinks I could rattle off a hundred-line soliloquy without much ado.

Computer programmer: cross_road() was called from get_other_side()

Shrek: Urrrrrp. What chicken?

Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

Darth Vader: Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side.

Martin Luther King Jr: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

REJOICE!!!

The Underground is back! Thank you whomever fixed it! :P

-Esmerelda

Ummm....

WHAT happened to the UG!???!!

-A very scared Emse :)

Wordle-UPDATED!!!!

Hi Elves, half Elves, and no Elves!
It's me, Raptor Elytra (that's a really cool name that I made up for my book story)

I created a wordle, (Esmerelda showed you a few a bit of post down) My wordle is about

*drum roll*

The Underground!

Here it is

<Message From Raptor: This is me getting kicked away!>

Wrath of the Spatula!

Frank's attacking New Zealand! Look at the picture I was able to take!

—Gwingyth Thunderblade

Just Another Random Elf ;)

Hey everyone! *waves*

I haven't posted yet, because I really didn't know what to post.  Now I shall post about what I didn't know to post and shall bore you out of your minds.  MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Jk ;) Anyways...I thought I'd just say 'hi' to all the elves on here (who probably know me anyway...). :)

~Taisia Tinuviel

It's me, CNG!

It's me! This is so cool! :D

Wordle

Wordle's a cool website that my friend told me about, and I ended up making these.

From this website:

From the Timeless thread by Hyper and Andy:

I might have more a bit later. :)
This is Esme signing off!

It's Back!

THE UG IS BACK!!!


After yesterday's tragic discovery of the UG had lost it's band, It is back!

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

-Your annoying blog-post writer.
(e.g. Raptor)

UG Errors.

As Raptor said, the UG is displaying an error message.

It has been doing this all day.

It may be the day we all have been dreading has come-
The UG has been overloaded.

I hope this is not the case. I contacted the authors about the issue, but I haven't gotten a response yet. I'll keep you guys updated.

Endurance and Victory.

-Andy

The Underground Is out on a walk. It lost its band.

Seriously, it is. I was going on it when it diverted to an error page

Bandwidth Limit Exceeded

The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later.

---

Apache Server at www.heedtheprophecies.com Port 80

(Gulp!)

That's bad. I wonder when it will be fixed. :-)

-Raptor

This is my blog. I don't know how you guys got yours on the right, but I'm posting mine.



http://bjsblogishere4u.blogspot.com

This is so cool. I've been at the UG for 4 months and just now found this... amazing!! Oh, by the way, this is shoot4thestarz

Hey'a! Ryebrynn Lyla Shveer Crossblade here!

Hello all.
I'm Ryebrynn Lyla Shveer Crossblade, alias; Brynna Sarayla Jakoso Crossblade, or just Lessien or Dekunte. I dwell in Liberia, West Africa. Anyway, I just wanted to post a short part of my Berinfell Fanfiction Short Story. Here goes!



DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE TIDE OF UNMAKING!!!!

Mariel Silvertree tossed her curly brown hair behind her and frowned at the letter that lay in her lap. Every Elven Lord or Heir to Lordship in Allyra had read it.

To the Elven Lords of Allyra:
Come with haste. Gwar has gotten a hold of a very dangerous weapon.
-Taeva Ravenpath

Mariel frowned. But what was this "very dangerous weapon"? They would all soon find out. Mariel sighed, stood and buckled a rychesword about her waist.
*****
Taeva Ravenpath waited impatiently, pacing the halls of the restored Vesper Crag, cleaned and polished, renewed after being torn down in the war against her father. She wore one of her best dresses, deep purple with shades of pink. She wore her black hair back in a ponytail. THe double doors to the hall opened. "Lord Alreenia Hiddenblade Silvertree, Lord Felheart Silvertree, Lord Hamandar Nightwing, Lord Miarra Swiftstorm Nightwing, Lord Thorwin Valorbrand, Lord Lothriel Oakenflower, Lord Albriand Ashheart, Sundrell Nightwing, Mariel Silvertree, and Guardmaster Eldara Goldarrow Grimwarden." Someone announced. The Lords and their children entered and the doors were closed behind them.
"My lords, I fear great evil has invaded Allyra yet again. After our victory against Asp, as you know, I came here. From Asp's fangs I filled one vial of venom. If has been stolen from my possession by a renegade Gwar. The very guards that guard this entrance now, saw on gwar leaving but yesterday, carrying a vial full of green liquid. It has been pilfered, my lords."
Across the room, Lord Alreenia gasped.
Lord Felheart stepped away from the other Lords. "Why did you do this, Taeva? Do you wish another war to fall down upon the fragile heart of Allyra?"
Lord Thorwin nodded. "Aye, it was not a smart thing for yu t'be doin'."
Taeva bowed her head. "I know. Forgiveness and alliance is all I ask for. After all, for the good of Allyra, we must apprehend this villain."
Guardmaster Goldarrow nodded gravely. "Endurance and victory,"
"Endurance and victory," the Lords echoed.
*****
Mariel Silvertree followed her parents out of Vesper Crag, a grim expression taking over her face. She pulled her curly brown hair back into a ponytail as she mounted her horse. Her parents were silent as they mounted their horses. The silence of them all unnerved Mariel. As their company cantered forward, Mariel tried hard to ignore the gnawing fear growing in her stomach. Something was not right in Allyra. And she knew what. She glanced back at Vesper Crag, it's towers high and majestic against the rosy dusk sky. The fortress had been changed, but the line of the Spider King hadn't. It had one vial of venom in it's possession, now, the whole of Allyra was held in balance. But the question was, would Taeva be acclaimed a traitor to the Lords?
*****
Lord Alreenia Hiddenblade Silvertree, or "Kat" as she prefered to be called, laid a hand on her husband's shoulder as he began to yell. "Peace, Tommy."
Lord Felheart, or "Tommy" as he prefered to be called, looked up at her.
"Always the peacemaker, Kat?"
She smiled wryly. "Keep in mind I know what you are thinking."
Tommy smiled and turned back to the other lords. "Jett, you are needed in this venture."
Lord Hamandar, or "Jett", smiled. "Why don't we just wait for the venom to kick in?"
"It's not meant to kill, but to change him into another Asp, another Spider King."
Jett drummed his fingertips on the arm of his throne. "I see. So how do you propose we defend ourselves against this impending doom?"
Lord Miarra, or "Autumn", bowed her head. "Only Ellos knows. Endurance and victory, fellow Lords. No matter what, Ellos will bring us through. We are the Children of Light. His people, he will rescue us."
"Amen," the other Lords said, smiles breaking out through out the room.
Guardmaster Eldara Goldarrow Grimwarden nodded from where she stood with the old Guardmaster, Olin Grimwarden.
"Grimwarden, gather the Flet Soldiers," Johnny said with a frown. "Guardmaster Eldara, come, we must speak of how to apprehend this renegade Gwar."
*****
Mariel Silvertree paced the hall outside the Throne Room. Grimwarden dashed into the hall, hurrying towards the barracks. "Grimwarden," Mariel cried. "What news?"
"It is war."
*****
Taeva Ravenpath paced the halls of Vesper Crag. It was late, past 1:00 AM, but Taeva Ravenpath could not sleep. Clad only in a nightgown, slippers, and robe, the late night autumn breeze chilled her to bone, like the sickening thoughts filling her head. But it did not matter. Taeva had a problem. "Why, Ellos?" She whispered. "Why would you let it be stolen?" A deep conviction came to Taeva. "Ellos, God of Allyra, forgive me for ever filling that dreaded vial!" Taeva fell to her knees, sobs choking in her throat.
*****
Mariel unbuckled her rychesword from her waist and laid it on a seat. She sat on her bed. Her mother entered. "Mother! How went it?"
"No doubt Grimwarden told you, Mariel. It is war."
"War?"
"War."
*****
Taeva Ravenpath composed herself and stood, dabbing her eyes with a hankerchief. The double doors to the hall swung open. Taeva turned, her black hair flying about her. "Hello?" Pain nipped the back of her head. She crumpled to the ground.
*****
The steps of many soldiers rang through the halls of Vesper Crag. One soldier dropped to his knees in front of a trashed hall. He motioned for the others to stay. "Lady Taeva?" He called. As he glanced around the room, she was nowhere in sight. The portraits of the Seven Lords of Allyra lay crushed on the ground. Two blades lay on the ground in the middle of the room. The blade of Taeva Ravenpath and the blade of a Gwar Soldier.
*****
Mariel pulled on a robe, grabbed her rychesword, and dashed into the hallway. "What is it? Why are the bells ringing?" Mariel asked the door guard.
He glanced over at her. "It woke you?"
"Aye. What is it?"
"Lady Taeva was kidnapped from Vesper Crag. They found her sword and that of a Gwar's in a hall. Apparently she had fought valiantly but lost."
Mariel frowned. "Are the Lords going to Vesper Crag?"
"Aye, my lady."
Mariel dashed back into her chambers and pulled on an embroidered white tunic with white leggings. She was buckling on her rychesword when her mother entered. "Oh, Mariel. You can't go."
"What! Is not Sundrell going?"
A smile twitched at the corners of Kat's blue tinted lips. "Of course. Tommy and the other men decreed us females should stay and protect Berinfell."
Mariel snorted. "Berinfell has capable warriors."
"Mariel..." Kat glanced back as Mariel's father entered.
"Your mother is right, Mariel. Try to get some sleep."
"Please, Father!"
"No! You aren't going."
Mariel glared at Tommy and sat on her bed. "Fine. I'll try to sleep." Her parents left and she fell back on the bed, tired but unable to sleep.
*****
Taeva awoke in a darkened room. "So she awakes," a voice boomed.
Taeva tried to stand, but instead found she was bound by rough ropes. "Who are you?"
"Calm, my lady. I am Jovanin Derigue."
She scowled at the tall Gwar. "I suspect you were the one who pilfered the vial from Vesper Crag."
Jovanin laughed. "You are right. I have yet to use it. But when I do, no one will be able to withstand me!"
Taeva blew a black curl out of her face. "The Lords defeated my father, the first to try, and by far the strongest. Then, Asp. You really think they cannot do it again?"
"It has been many years since they fought in a full scale battle."
"You think that would diminish their prowess?"
Jovanin scowled. "I'll cross that ravine when I get to it."
"And thus, it shall creep upon you and be your doom," Taeva sighed. "Do what you wish."
"Your curiousity is not even the smallest bit inflamed for why I kidnapped you?"
Taeva glared at him. "Why is that, Jovanin?"
"I need you, Taeva Ravenpath, daughter of the Spider King, to take the venom. I mixed in a bit of extra liquids to help you turn to evil."
Taeva narrowed her eyes. "The Dark Arts?"
"Of course."
"Sorcery," Taeva growled.
"Don't worry, dear Lady Taeva. I'll make it hurt as much as I can." Jovanin stepped forward, holding a large needle-tipped syringe filled with venom. Taeva thrashed against her bindings.



Over and Out,
-Ryebrynn

Okay, I was on the "What Do You Think Tommy Was Gonna Say" thread, and found this one, that had me laughing so hard. But then, maybe I'm just slaphappy. ;) Either way, I hope you guys find it funny. :) (It was written by Adria. :)

-Esmerelda


Tommy: Kat?
Kat: Yeah?
Tommy: I'm really craving a cheeseburger.
Kat: *sees Tommy's mind playing "Cheeseburger" by Veggietales* I see.
Tommy: But the thing is, they don't even have any cows here, so how am I going to have another cheeseburger?
Kat: I'm sure you'll think of something.
Tommy: Maybe if we sing...
Kat: This is not a Disney movie, Tommy.
Tommy: Okay...*whispers* You are his...cheese...bur...gerrrrrr....

The Epic Tale of the President and the Marble of Doom

Buenas noches!  DrummerGuy here.

The following was written on the "Make a Story" thread by Esmerelda, Elethia, Hyperlinkzer, Jack Stride, and me.  It went across six posts, each post continuing the previous post, until the epic conclusion.  I have taken the liberty of joining all six posts into one story.  Enjoy.

In the middle of August, in the year Whatever You Want It To Be, the President of the United States was basking in his powerfulness in his office. He had decided to take a day to relax, and in doing so, was having a wonderful morning so far. It came time for lunch, so the President decided to take a walk down to the kitchen and tell them to just serve it to him in his theater (which just so happened to be playing The Avengers...again!) But then he remembered the little button on his desk that allowed him to simply speak to the kitchen form his chair! After letting them know where he would be, and when to have it ready (plus what he wanted) he meandered down the hall and all the way to the elevator that would carry him down two stories, and let him out directly in front of his own personal private theater. Once he arrived, he wandered about the seats wondering which he should sit in now. Settling for a middle seat that was practically in the midst of the giant room, he sat and snapped his fingers. Instantly the movie started, and he was sucked into the movie just like that.

_ _ _

Sometime later, and a few hours past lunch, the movie was over, and the President decided to floss his teeth. He enjoyed looking neat, and always made it a 'must' to appear at his very best. As the President came to the bathroom, he opened the door and stood in front of the mirror. Smiling very cheesily at his even cheesier reflection, he effortlessly grabbed the dental floss that sat upon the counter and began to slowly take all the gunk out of his teeth. After he would finish one tooth, he would smile at himself, and then continue on. 

_ _ _

Hours later, the President was finally through, and it was time for him to meet...(dadaaaaa!) The Marble of Doom!!! Even on his days off, the President was unable to postpone this very certain appointment, that always took place at 4:00pm. Shoes clicked on the glossy tile, as the President power walked to the very last elevator on that floor. It took him to the lowest level of the White House. Once he arrived, he shrugged his suit into place, and straightened his tie. His eye caught a glimpse of shiny metal and when he looked down he saw his pair of nail clippers....hmm, strange...he thought. Shoving them into his pocket, he continued forward. The clocks stroke 4:00pm.

As the President entered his private chambers around five-o-clock that evening, he gasped in surprise. For there, standing calmly upon his ebony dresser, was a distinguished-looking frog, dressed as a butler. Right down to the white gloves!
His eyes widened, showing more white than he had previously thought possible.
"Who-wha-how--?" He stammered.
In a deep, monotone base voice, the frog answered his unasked question. "I know I look rather unusual, but I had heard that you were looking for a bit more variety in your staff. And so, Mr. President, I am to be your new butler."
The president was still trying to find his voice. "Bu-wha, I mean, how is it that you can talk? This is unlike anythi- I mean, you're amazing! I-"

Suddenly, they were cut off by a loud crash from outside the white house. The frog's face, which had thus far been unreadable, suddenly contorted into a mask of fear and shock.
"The Great Marble of Doom!" He shrieked. "IT'S FOUND ME AGAIN!"
Together, the frog and the President raced to the window just in time to see a giant black marble rolling through the courtyards. Screaming people scrambled out of it's way.
"It's following YOU?" The President asked.
Just then, the door burst open. The security guards in their black sunglasses rushed in. "Mr. President, we need to evacuate, now!!"

The frog suddenly grew 15 feet tall, breaking all of its clothing off its body. The President screamed and took a few steps backwards. The frog's long tongue shot out of its mouth, grabbed the President, and pulled him into its mouth. The guards stood gaping for a couple of seconds. They quickly recovered and raised their guns, but the frog was too quick. It stuffed all of them into its mouth and swallowed before they could fire a single shot.
_ _ _

The President hurtled towards the frog's throat. He managed to stop himself before he was swallowed. Breathing a quick sigh of relief, he tiptoed up the frog's massive tongue. He had just made it to the frog's lips, when something... No, somethings slammed into him, knocking him backwards, down the frog's throat, and into the frog's stomach. A few seconds later, the President stood, shakily.
"Sir, are you all right?" asked one of the guards, the first one who had slammed into the President.
"I think so," moaned the President.
Another guard spoke up. "We need to get out of here. We'll get digested."
The President nodded. "I agree, we should---"
The stomach they were standing on jerked suddenly, and the President and his guards fell on their backs.
"What's going on out there?!" said the President.
_ _ _

The frog licked his lips. The President's family rushed into the room, but with one stern look from the frog, they ran out screaming. The frog heard spinning chopper blades above him. He sat calmly. An explosion rocked the white house's ceiling, leaving a smoking hole where the roof used to be. A helicopter hovered overhead, and dropped a rope into the room. The frog grabbed the rope, and the helicopter lifted into the air.
The frog grunted happily. Despite the unexpected unexpected appearance of the Marble of Doom, his plan to take over the United States had started out perfectly.

_ _ _

The President banged on the walls of the frog's stomach, to no apparent avail. He slumped down in the sticky mass of dead flies the frog had eaten, not caring about dirtying his $500 suit. The guards glanced at him, then sat down, tossing their guns into the disgusting pile.

The President's eyes suddenly widened.

"That's it! I know what to do!" He jumped up and started grabbing armfuls of flies.

One of the guards held his stomach.

"Quick! Start shoving them up his throat! If we can make him puke, we can get out!"

The guards looked at each other.

"C'mon, guys. I'm the President. You still follow my orders."

They shrugged and complied. It was tedious work, but they finally heard a deep gurgling sound arise from beneath the stomach.

_ _ _

The frog was still riding beneath the helicopter, hanging onto the rope, when he felt like he was going to toss his cookies. Then...

He did.

_ _ _

The President and his loyal guards were jerked off their feet and caught up in a swirling tide. In seconds, they were airborne, falling towards the White House's front lawn. The fountain was beneath them.

"Guys, it's just like skydiving! Aim for the fountain!" he yelled. They nodded. The ground rushed up quickly, and for a moment, the President thought he might not make it. Then he felt the cool water on his face, and it spread rapidly through his entire body.

Once he was sure he was safe, he emerged from the fountain, gasping for air. The guards had been anxiously waiting for him. He gave them a reassuring smile, trying to make it as realistic as possible.

They let out their breath and pointed to the sky. A helicopter hovered overhead, lowering itself down towards the President. He had no doubt of their intentions. He motioned for his guards to be ready for the worst.

The helicopter landed ten feet from the President. The door opened, and the frog stepped out, rubbing his fat belly.

"You gave me quite the indigestion, Mr. President." He gave the President a toothless smile. "But now I'm hungry again," he said, licking his lips.

The President was about to make a witty comeback when something large, round, and black dropped in between them. It was the Marble of Doom! If that wasn't surprising enough, it spoke:

"This is the last time we meet, frog. I will smash you now."

The frog smirked. "You cannot defeat me. I am invincible!"
The President suddenly had a feeling of terror. "Can you defeat him, Marble?"
"Yes, of course I can, you dolt. Now get out of the way before I smash you too." The marble glared at the president, who quickly got out from between the marble and the frog.
The frog's henchman handed him a gigantic spiked hammer, and the frog licked his lips, leaping with astounding strength toward the Marble of Doom, screaming with diabolical fury.
The hammer struck the dark surface of the Marble of Doom. A frightening death-tone rang out, dark and low sounding, a deep note of fate. Quoth the Marble, "Useless."
The frog's fear was palpable as he struggled to comprehend what had just happened. "You're...you're..."
"Invincible," the Marble finished, rolling forward and squashing the frog.
The frog's henchman stepped out of the helicopter with an AK-47, aiming it straight for the president. "I will fulfill the frog's mission!" he screamed, firing a rapid series of bullets straight at the president.
At the last second, something giant and black pushed its way between the henchman and the president. The bullets smacked on metal as a giant iPod crashed to earth.
The iPod pulled itself toward the henchman, and its headphone cord wrapped tightly around the man's throat. The henchman's legs flailed as he choked, and then he went limp.
The iPod turned to face the president, six bullet holes rent in its front. "You will always...be...protected..." it gasped, with its dying breath.
The Marble of Doom bowed his head. The president saluted. The president's guards stood there uncomfortably. A hero had just died for his president, a daring and bold iPod with bravery surpassing that even of a normal brave person. The frog was dead and also his henchman, but there would be more to come. The president knew it.

One of the guards slowly walked up to the president. "Sir, are yo--"
The president held up a hand. The guard stopped in mid sentence. The president looked into the sky and pointed up at a small dot.
"Marble, what is that?"
The Marble began to roll towards the president to answer, when the ground shook violently, knocking everyone off their feet, and rolling the Marble straight towards the white house. The Marble skidded, and rolled back towards the president.
"It's a dragon," the Marble said. "Bigger than the sun. It's being here will throw off the balance in the galaxy's gravity."
As if on cue, the moon went hurtling across the sky. More earthquakes shook the ground. The president stood, shakily.
"And worse," continued the Marble, "The dragon wants to eat our solar system for lunch, starting with the sun, and ending with the earth."
The president's face turned pale. "So this is the disaster you've been warning me about," he whispered breathlessly.
The Marble nodded. "I alone can stop him. But there's a risk. These dragons spew the Cotton Candy of Evil from their mouths. One touch of it makes us Marbles explode." The Marble's voice cracked, as he tried to hold back sobs. "My father, the Marble of Destruction, died defeating one of these kinds of dragons. I am the last of my race."
The president sank to his knees and put his head in his palm.
The Marble rolled closer to the president. "This is farewell. It has been an honor serving our country with you."
With that, the Marble flew upwards, getting faster and faster as he disappeared into the sky.
"Wait," shouted the president. "There has to be another way!"
"Goodbye," called the Marble, its voice coming faintly from high above.
_ _ _

The Marble of Doom sped through the atmosphere. He was soon zooming through the stars. Something green appeared in the distance. The Marble turned, and rushed towards it.
A few minutes later, the Marble was 10 feet from it. It was the dragon.
The dragon was a hideous creature. Its skin was rough, and looked like the side of a rocky mountain. It had large yellow claws, sharp enough to tear through solid rock as easily as a man could tear through a kleenex. It had red eyes, green spikes on the back of its neck, and a long tail that ended in yet another claw.
The Marble drew in a deep breath. "HEY UGLY!!"
The dragon turned with a snort. When it saw the Marble, its eyes opened wide. Then it quickly recovered itself, and blew a puff of cotton candy. The Marble dodged, and rocketed towards the dragon's open mouth. The dragon continued spewing out cotton candy, narrowly missing the fast approaching Marble. The dragon blew again. A small piece of candy stuck to the Marble. He groaned and sped on... straight into the dragon's open mouth. The dragon closed its mouth with a snap. The Marble was engulfed in darkness, but he didn't stop. The Marble began to shake. He was seconds away from exploding. But he still kept on going until he got to the dragon's stomach. Once he got there he stopped.
"Goodbye, earth," he whispered. "And goodbye dragon."
_ _ _

A massive explosion rocked the sky, and the dragon exploded in a ball of flames and scales. The president, his guards, and everyone else on earth saw it.
Tears streamed from the president's eyes. "Farewell, my friend," he whispered.

The earth... the entire solar system had been saved from catastrophe. The last of the Marbles had saved the human race.

Thus endeth the Epic Tale of the President and the Marble of Doom.

HyperLinkzer: Tale of the Rat-Hippos, part one.

Hypes here.

This is part one of a battle that me, Trista Vaporblade, Taisia Tinuviel, and CrazyAndyMan were involved in.  It wasn't actually typed in such a dramatic way as this, and I added a few things, but...yeah. :) Enjoy!

* * * * * * * * * *

Trista Vaporblade ran through the forest, breathing heavily and swatting branches away. She couldn’t hit all of them, and a few slapped her face as she sped past. The sky was deceptively blue despite the predicament, but there was not a cloud in sight, which was uncharacteristic for the creatures that usually traveled under cover of clouds. The sun snaked its way in between the tightly bunched trees and left splotches of light on the forest floor. Trista’s feet padded silently on the soft dirt, sometimes making a snapping sound as her boots crunched on dry leaves.

The reason for her haste was the impending doom not far behind. She had to warn the other Elves or they would face extinction.

She burst into a clearing and screamed, “Everybody run for cover! It’s the Flying Rat-Hippos of Northern Grontino!”

No answer.

They must have been wiped out already, thought Trista. But then she heard something; laughter, coming from a young girl that Trista hadn’t seen before. She recognized her as Taisia Tinuviel.

Trista grabbed Taisia and pulled her behind a bush. “Don’t laugh, hide!” she said, then lowered her voice and whispered, “And don’t fear. They can sense fear.”

Taisia stopped laughing. Her faced became fearful. “Oh. Will it kill us?” She shivered.

“I’m not sure, but I’ve heard that they like to sit on people with pointy ears.” Trista reached up and subconsciously felt her own ear, as if to make sure it was still in place.

“That’s bad,” stated Taisia. “We’re doomed -”

She was silenced by a loud thud. “What was that?” she mouthed to Trista.

“Rat-hippo,” Trista mouthed back.

The hippo on the other side of the bush snorted. Trista’s heart skipped a beat.

The bush was lifted into the air, and an evil face filled the two girl’s vision. Both of them froze.

Taisia reached over and grabbed Trista’s hand. Trista squeezed it reassuringly. They drew their swords and prepared to fight.

Suddenly, they heard a loud yell.

“Leave them alone, rat, or taste my blade!” A figure dropped down from the tree and buried its sword into the throat of the hippo. “That should keep him down,” said the figure, turning around.

Trista sheathed her sword and bowed. “Sir Andy! Thank you for saving us.”

Andy smiled grimly and put his own sword into its scabbard. “It’s not over yet. There are more to come.”

“What do you mean, ‘more to come’?” asked Taisia.

Andy pointed toward the sky. “Look north. There must be hundreds of them,” he replied.

They stood still for a moment to let the news soak in. Then they heard rustling behind them. Three swords rang out in unison.

Andy called out, “Who goes there?”

More rustling, this time accompanied with a voice. “Oof! Ouch! Stupid branch – OW! That’s gonna leave a mark. AAAAAAHHHH!!!” A boy fell out of the tree above Andy and knocked him down.

Andy quickly stood up and dusted himself off. “Hyper, it’s good to see you, but you didn’t have to fall on me. You could’ve been impaled on my sword.”

The boy rolled over on his back and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“Hyper! I’m glad you’re here. Andy says there are more rat-hippos coming!”

Hyper turned white. “Rat-hippos? You mean the ones from the NORTH?”

Trista nodded. “Yes, they come from the north, hence the name.”

Just then the sky darkened. The group craned their heads to the sky to see what the cause was.

Rat-hippos. Hundreds upon hundreds of rat-hippos flew above the forest in a massive horde like a swarm of bees, but infinitely larger and deadlier.

Hyper spoke. “How many of them are there?”

“Andy says hundreds, and I don’t doubt it,” Trista replied.

Andy looked at the others. “Well friends, this is it. We fight today, under the blue skies and in the forest below, we’ll -”

Taisia interrupted him. “Skip the speech, Andy. We’ve got a battle to win!”

Warrior of Aror: The Kid Tekija

Hey, this is Warrior.

As an elf, I write, and write a lot.  I wouldn't claim that I'm very good at it.... but I think that somethings I've learned can be useful to you.  But, I'm not going to get into that now.  Today, I'm going to briefly explain.... well, me, and a few other things.

I'm just a kid, with a few dreams... well, a few HUNDRED CRAZY AMBITIOUS dreams.  So, yeah.  If you don't mind, I'll say one other thing.  I HATE COMMA-SPLICES!  That's one thing you should know about me.

Jäähyväiset (that's Finnish for Farewell, you should also know I like the Finnish language)

The Kid Tekija (Tekija is Author in Finnish, :D)

CrazyAndyMan: App for the UG

Greetings, fellow elves! I have made an app for the UG. It is available now for download. 
Download from the App Store at:
http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/the-ug/id553727525?ls=1&mt=8
Download it for Android at:

http://ibuildapp.com/projects.php?action=info&projectid=326921

It is a free app. If you want to see screenshots, go to:

http://screenshotsfortheug.blogspot.com/

Reviewing the app would also be appreciated. 

- CrazyAndyMan

Tyler Dreamvine: Book Praise

Hello elves. TD here! I have recently read some books called the Wheel of Time series. These books are INCREDIBLE. I highly recommend them. They have some Christian elements in these books. The "Creator," the "Dark One (Shai'tan)," and other things. Please read them and tell me what you think.